A local mama posted a link to her blog post on our facebook page. We thought it too good not to share. Here’s the whole gosh darn beautifulness that she wrote. Love it, too? Hop over to her blog and let her know.
What I learnt from my husband since he became a dad
Nearly a year ago now, both my husband and I became parents. Because I am the one who was pregnant, and delivered this beautiful, oh so beautiful baby, for a “few” months I focused on myself, recovering from this unique experience. Little by little, I opened my eyes again on the world around me, discovering people in the street, life outside my baby, friends, family, and yes husband. I feel very lucky to have him by my side. He truly is the perfect mix between Superman, Romeo, Buddha, and a teddy bear. Possibly the Incredibles dad from Pixar?
My point is that for a long time I was focused on all the things he could do like me, instead of figuring it out by himself. I was really trying to make him be a mum. Which is biologically impossible and quite frankly a waste of time.
Yes when our baby was born, there was this physical attachment with me, also increased due to breastfeeding, that I wanted to keep very selfishly. Little by little I learnt to let go. Let go and give myself a break, and everyone around me. Or at least try, at least be aware of it.
Anyway. The fact is during our recent road trip adventures in California, I spent a full day with four dads and their kids. What I discovered was how relaxed they were. about everything. None of them freaked out when baby was not eating, not sleeping, not pooping. Stress level was 0. And the kids did not fuss or cry once. Or maybe once, which is in a day a very good score.
I was amazed. Suddenly I was learning from them, thinking to myself that I should take notes from this day. When the dads started to feel tired, they told their kids “how about we take a nap?” after 15 min, 2 of the 4 the dads were sleeping with sleeping babies in their arms. They just did whatever felt right at the time, with no stress, no discussion, no explanation. And yes when I do that myself, just relax, and do whatever makes me happy, because if I am happy, baby is happy, and my husband too.
I also noticed dads talk less. There is no negotiation, no discussion. Less choice. You do that or you don’t do anything. It’s kind of easier for a kid I guess. They make it easy for them to decide, when they give them choice. I am not saying only dads do that of course. I am just writing notes from what I witnessed during this day. I was expecting chaos. What I saw was actually heaven.
Yes maybe sometimes I over think, and try to do what’s good for others, instead of focusing on what will make ME feel happy otherwise I feel guilty. And after spending one of the nicest day riding bikes and going to the river with dads and babies, I believe that I learnt from dads, and my husband in particular that it’s important to let go, not to try to control everything all the time, and just go with the flow. You want to take a nap, take a nap. Why feel guilty about it. Life is too short to feel guilty about things that makes you happy…
Thank you, Raphaelle. And thank you to the dads who are the peanut butter to our jelly.
Read more from Raphaelle at http://mamaninportland.blogspot.com/